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In
Paaka Katha (final talk), the parents of the
bride/groom, along with one or two very close
relatives/friends go to the other party’s house to
formally settle the marriage. It may be followed by a
dinner/ lunch. |
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A
ceremony called Aashirwad (a substitute for Roka)
in which the bride’s parents, close relatives and may be
family friends go over to the groom’s house and give him
their aashirwad, |
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May
be along with a token gift. The same is done by the
groom’s family, they go to the girl’s house and bestow
her with their blessings. Usually, the girl is given some
gold ornament on this occasion by the boy’s parents.
Notably, the groom /bride do not accompany the family on
these occasions. Aashirwad is as good as an
engagement. There is no formal engagement ceremony among
Hindu Bengalis.
On
the day of the wedding (or within a week before wedding),
the groom’s and the bride’s father offer prayers to
the ancestors. A pundit is called and a pooja
takes place in their respective houses. This is called Vriddhi. |
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Before
sunrise on the day of the wedding Dadhi Mangal is
performed. The bride and the groom, in their respective
homes, wear fresh clothes and are offered milk based
products (curd, milk, meetha etc) to eat.
This is done because the whole day, till the wedding
ceremony is over, both of them are in vrata and
don’t eat anything. This is preceded by a happily
married couple fetching water (ideally from a well) in a matka. |
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Shubha
Drishti and Mala badal
takes place when the groom comes. The girl’s mother receives
him at the gate with an aarti. This is called Varan.
At the muhurat, the boy and the girl set eyes
on each other for the first time, that is why it is called shubh
drishti. Then the exchange of garlands takes place (mala
badal).
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Vivah,
the actual wedding ceremony, happens at a chosen muhurat.
Kanyadan is called Sampradaan unlike other
Hindu marriages it is not done by the father, instead it
is done by some one in the family (with same gotra
) like paternal uncle etc. Then Saat Pheras take
place around the agni(sacred fire) to the chant of
Sanskrit mantras.
The
baraatis, except the groom and one or two of his
cousins or friends, go home. The next morning the girl’s
parting is filled with Sindoor by the groom (again)
and a sumptuous lunch follows where the bride and the
groom sit with each other and are served a huge feast in
new utensils. This is called Baasi Byah. |
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The
couple is then blessed by all the elders in the family and the
groom is given gifts. Then the Bidai takes place at the
right muhurat, usually before sun set, when people from
the groom’s house come and fetch the couple.
Next
day afternoon, the groom’s family and friends are invited for
lunch . The close relatives of the bride are also invited. In
this the bride is formally invited into the family. The groom
pledges responsibility of her food and clothing and as a sign of
fulfilling that pledge, gifts her a new sari and serves her
food.
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